@CoachRyanKY
In the general day-to-day operation of the world, my sports happiness means less than I would like to think it does. One sport in particular, football, has been a major damper on that happiness throughout my lifetime of Kentucky fandom. However, one constant remains: my sincere hatred for the Louisville Cardinals.
In the ever-expansive world of college football, each program seems to find a niche. Alabama has annual dominance. Notre Dame? Well, they have tradition. Louisville, however? Louisville has a certain je ne sais quoi that makes it almost impossible to find anything about the program bearable to the normal human stomach. It’s not just the red that is far too bright, their lack of success, or their consistent NCAA infractions. No, it is much more. It is a rich burgoo of classlessness that irks my every being.
So let’s talk about it!
The Cardinal
The cardinal is a bird that is small, pleasant, and frequents bird feeders to gleefully chirp their playful songs. In fact, it is the official state bird of our Commonwealth. However, Louisville has made a mockery of it! Louisville has turned it into a vile, menacing, anthropomorphic fever dream. It looks perpetually pissed off, as if it were forced to watch Kenny Payne attempt to win a game (or as if someone told it the NCAA might be enforcing rules this year). As if that weren’t embarrassing enough, the live creature that roams the sidelines isn’t even a cardinal—it’s a weird dude in a costume that is too “toothy” for my liking. Lose the spandex, “Louie.”
The Fans
They are difficult to find in the wild, but if there is Crown Royal present, they will be there. What am I talking about? I am talking about none other than Louisville fans. I’m not sure whether to call it reeking of misdirected arrogance or the cloud of eternal insecurity that hovers above them, but their fans are only a step above those from Knoxville (if you know, you know). They love to remind you that they know how to spell half of their mascot’s avian taxa, in a copied chant from their big brother, I might add.
Lamar Jackson really deserved better than these people, but any program that spends more time arguing whether they belong than actually proving it on the gridiron can be a bit grating.
(PHOTO: WKDQ)
The Scandal
The athletic department as a whole seems steeped in it, but let’s not forget about the Louisville football program. It might be a bit endearing if it weren’t so predictable. Louisville operates with the ethical flexibility of a door-to-door roof salesman. Recruiting violations, poorly timed firings, arrests—you name it! The headline-grabbing dysfunction never grows old for me.
Cats by 90.
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